Best Australian Yarn: From the Outside by Simone Field

From the outside, I’m sure it looked like a picture from one of my books. A regular family on their way to school for the first day. Two kids in the back, parents in the front. Look closer though. See me? In the back, there. The boy whose face looks a little scrunched up. The one whose eyes are looking down. The one who is rocking a little in his seat. See him? That’s me. Harrison Jesse Lockhart. My little sister calls me Harry. I call her Tilly. But her full name is Matilda Rose Lockhart.

First day of a new school – do you know what that feels like? Let me tell you, from where I sat, locked into place in that backseat, the ride to school on MY first day felt quite different to what you’ve ever felt. Even if you recall your most nervous first day of school, mine felt bigger. The hum of the engine, the road disappearing under the noisy tread of the car tyres – imagine it magnified inside your head, playing like loud drums in your ears. All these noises, the whirr, the ker-thump of the tyres as they hit the joins in the road surface. No radio on in the car. Nobody talking. Ker-thump, ker-thump.

My family know what I need – I can see my mum with her frowny forehead lines at odds over her forced, trembly smile, secretly wishing that today will be manageable for me. Nobody in the car hopes I’ll have a good day. Just getting through it would be an achievement.