New Year, new you: Our 21 tips for a better life in 2021

HOUSEHOLD HELPERS 1 Hire a Cleaner Cleaning is a source of stress for many and fighting over the cleaning is a weekly occurrence for one in 10 Australian couples, according to research from Fantastic Services Group. If you hate the cleaning and can afford to outsource the job, consider hiring a professional. Psychologist Jemma Doley says having a clean home is important for mental health but cleaning often gets put off because it feels “overwhelming and stressful”. “Unfortunately, when we avoid things, the stress and demand to get it done just continues to build and build and raises our stress levels higher and higher, which can impact our ability to function as effectively and may decrease our motivation even further,” she says. “Outsourcing cleaning and household tasks allows you to focus your spare time on the things you enjoy and want to be doing, like spending time with your family and partner, practising hobbies, or just relaxing.” 2 Learn How to Change a Tyre You never know when you will find yourself stranded and roadside assistance is not always available if you are out of mobile range or your phone battery is flat. RAC road assistance patrol’s Mark Dring says flat tyres accounted for more than 29,000 call-outs across WA in 2020. “You never know when a flat tyre might let you down — it’s important you have the right tools in your car to fix or change a tyre so you can get back on the road again quickly and safely,” he says. Mr Dring recommends reading the car manual, following tips on the RAC website and practising in a safe location. As to specifics, he recommends stopping on hard, flat ground far from traffic, putting on your hazard lights and placing wheel chocks on the tyre opposite the flat to prevent rolling. Remove the hub cap, loosen the wheel nuts and use your jack to raise the car. Once you’ve removed the loosened nuts and the flat tyre and the spare tyre is on you can replace the nuts, lower the car and finally tighten the nuts again. 3 Buy Second-Hand Shopping second-hand, whether for clothes, electronics or toys for the kids, helps reduce landfill waste and your carbon footprint. It will also save money. Shop at a second-hand store like one of St Vincent de Paul Society’s 54 stores in WA and you will do further good, spokeswoman Louise Macfarlane says. “It’s so much fun to find treasures and if you go with a group of friends it’s a great thing to do,” she says. “You feel good about it because of the benefit to the environment and stopping stuff going to landfill, which is really important, but secondly you’re doing something good for your community.” 4 Master a Classic Dish When going to a restaurant became more difficult in 2020, home cooking came into the spotlight. Cooking at home does not have to be fancy but there is something joyous about surprising guests with a classic done right. For celebrated French-born chef Guillaume Brahimi a bearnaise sauce is one to have in your back pocket and a recipe he has demonstrated a lot during his pandemic Zoom masterclasses. “It is such a good recipe to have in your repertoire,” he says. “How often do guests come over and you can serve them a nice steak with bearnaise sauce on the side?” Brahimi’s recipe involves a two-step process. Firstly make a bearnaise reduction by combining 100ml white wine vinegar, four sprigs of French tarragon, one sliced shallot, five white peppercorns and one fresh bay leaf in a pot, bringing to the boil and simmering until it is reduced by half before straining through a sieve and cooling. Secondly, combine five eggs yolks with 25ml of the cooled reduction and whisk over boiling water until it turns pale yellow and creamy. Whisk in 100g of melted, clarified butter in a slow, steady stream until the mixture has thickened. Finally, season with salt and pepper, fold through 3tbsp each of chopped parsley, tarragon and chives and prepare to feel smug. PERSONAL FINANCE 5 How to get a better deal from your bank Bank fees are a big expense for many, particularly those with loans. In this historically low interest rate environment, is it possible to get a sweetener from your bank to retain your business? Probably, say the experts. But it’s advisable to do your homework before you start your demands, says Liz Rae, director at Andep Investment Consultancy. Look up what rates and fees are being offered by the competitors and compare them to the deal you’re on. “Once you’re armed with alternative options that suit your requirements then you’re in a good position to call your bank and ask them to match or beat what you found elsewhere,” Ms Rae said. “Most banks will have a retention department and if after speaking to the first person who answers your call does not elicit interest rate or fee improvement, ask if your request can be escalated to them.” 6 Don’t get carried away with services like Afterpay and Zippay There’s a reason buy now, pay later ASX-listed Afterpay has been called a market darling. Since it listed on the sharemarket just a little over four years ago, for $1 a share, its share price has edged north and was $120 just a couple of weeks ago. So there’s been no shortage of customers using the shop now, pay later platform through automated instalments, interest-free. The problem is, according to financial adviser Troy MacMillan, chief executive of TWD Australia, is that some people use Afterpay and similar platforms such as Zip pay, as a substitute for proper budgeting. “It doesn’t matter how convenient instalment payments appear at the surface, if you’re still spending more than you earn over time, you’ll end up worse off financially (and probably in debt, too),” he said. “So, go ahead and use Afterpay and Zip pay on your favourite items—just make sure you include these expenditures in your budget.” 7 Stop subscribing to everything Spotify, Apple Music, Netflix, Stan, Disney+, Uber Eats – our society has officially entered the subscription era, Mr MacMillan said. According to research from technology analyst firm Telsyte published in August, the total number of subscriptions reached almost 37 million across Australia to the end of June, and is forecast to hit 58 million by 2024. Although spending $8.99 a month on a service doesn’t seem like much, having five or six recurring payments sure adds up, says Mr MacMillan. “If your goal is to control your personal finances, try not to get lured into more recurring monthly bills. In fact, you should be trying to reduce your monthly payments, especially on things you don’t need,” he said. 8 Pay off that credit card We’re still a nation obsessed with credit cards, according to comparison site Finder, who found there were 13,720,900 credit cards in Australia as of October 2020, netting a national debt accruing interest of $21.1 billion. Mr MacMillan said credit cards have made it easy for us to defer payments on things we think we need. “Restaurants, fancy clothes, expensive vacations — simply swipe your credit card and be done with it,” he said. “Then the bill comes at the end of the month and instead of paying it off in full, you make a minimum payment. Repeat this cycle for a few months and watch your personal finances go down the tube.” Credit cards are convenient, Mr MacMillan said, but they also carry high interest rates that make it harder to pay down your debt as your balance grows. The hot tip? Make a point to pay off your credit card in full every single month, no excuses. PARENTING & RELATIONSHIPS (Rhianna Mitchell) 9 Embrace the 80/20 rule It’s a trap many parents fall into — dwelling on the things that go wrong. This year, parenting guru Maggie Dent is urging parents to ease the pressure on themselves, and instead of striving for perfection, embrace her 80/20 rule. “Allow for 20 per cent of failures and 80 per cent of doing just good enough — not perfect, but just good enough,” she explains. Mrs Dent said that too often she observed parents beating themselves up unnecessarily about “the meltdowns of both toddlers and teens, the sleep disturbed nights, the fussy eating and the mess, or the random poo that makes them late”. “So my suggestion is to stop being so hard on yourself. Prioritise the micro-connections, not just the big photo moments.” 10 Make memories that matter Creating fun family rituals which elicit joy is a way to build happy, lifelong memories in children, Mrs Dent says. She encourages families to find their own rituals to repeat — whether it be travelling to the same camp site for a holiday each year, regular family movie nights, or even simple play, bath and bedtime rituals. “This is the stuff that builds positive memories that your child can draw on later in life as evidence that they had a fabulous childhood. This is also what children will draw on when they become parents. “My challenge to all of us is to ponder and consider consciously how to build memories in childhood that are drowned in moments of profound joy and delight, so that children and grandchildren can remember them when they become boring adults.” 11 Know your "dating market value" Professional matchmaker Louanne Ward has some advice for singles looking for love in 2021: assess your “dating market value”. To do this, Ms Ward suggests giving yourself an “honest rating” on a scale of one to 10 in theeight areas of life; career, finance, social influence, friends and family, physical and mental health, emotional intelligence, spirituality and mental intelligence. “Calculate the score out of 80, and date in the range of your market value score,” she suggests. “If you are a 57/80 but you're trying to date a 70, bring your expectations into reality and date in your league. It’s important to consider complementary opposites and similarities.” 12 Don’t get too comfortable The new year following the year that nobody saw coming is going to trigger people to re-evaluate their relationships, Ms Ward suggests. So, sharpen your pencil and make an effort to work on both yourself, and your relationship. “Much like a business contract a relationship needs to be renewed and revitalised,” Ms Ward said. “Take time to write all the things that are working for you and all the areas you feel disconnected. Make an agreement to listen to each other and focus on what is working rather that what's not.” “While fear and uncertainty bring you closer together, it also highlights how fragile life is causing a knee jerk reaction to get it right.” 13 Unhappy at work? Move on 2020 taught us two things. First, that wherever possible we should try to live our “best” life, as things can change in a heartbeat. And perhaps paradoxically, that being employed is something to be grateful for. The two can come into conflict though, as often being employed in a particular job is not living our best life for a variety of reasons. Leadership and workplace culture expert Tammy Tansley urges those unhappy in their jobs to consider whether the benefits of the role outweigh the negatives. “If not, put a plan in place to address that: perhaps by being pragmatic about getting fulfilment from sources outside of work, or by actively making a plan to leave for something that meets your needs better.” 14 Embrace the “third space” One benefit of 2020 was the almost instantaneous introduction of flexible working practices. Ms Tansley suggests that ahead of the 2021 work year, both bosses and staff should consider the optimal arrangements for them. “It may be that a hybrid of working in the office for collaboration and engagement and working from home for productivity and balance is the solution.” “Whatever works for you — now’s the time to actively review what worked and what didn’t and use that to build a better way of working for the future.” HEALTH, MENTAL HEALTH & FITNESS (Angela Pownall) 15 Get your screens done Disruption was the name of the game in 2020 which led to many people missing out on routine health screenings that could save their life. Data shows that screenings for bowel, cervical, breast and skin cancers fell off a cliff as restrictions and virus fears led to people avoiding GP surgeries and hospitals. Melissa Ledger, from Cancer Council WA, says there are growing concerns about people with undiagnosed cancers. “If you have received an invitation or a reminder to participate in any of the three national screening programs, please do not delay in 2021,” she said. “Screening can detect changes before cancer develops or, if cancer is found, screening can lead to early detection, more treatment choices and improved survival.” 16 Reframe it COVID-19 turned the world as we know it upside down in 2020, creating anxiety and stress for many of us. Lifeline WA chief executive Lorna MacGregor says reframing is a great way to step back and look at things in a different light. Reframing is a technique to help see a situation from a different perspective, which can help to solve problems, make decisions and change how you feel about a situation. “It can help remind us that there may be other reasons a problem exists, have a more positive outlook on a situation or encourage acceptance,” Ms MacGregor says. “Practising gratitude and identifying three good things that happen each day are also ways to help improve your connection to others and wellbeing.” 17 Acts of kindness Practising acts of kindness makes us feel good as well as the recipient, who in turn is more likely to be kind to others. Kindness is linked to happiness and contentment and helps to promote empathy and compassion, according to Lifeline WA chief executive Lorna MacGregor. “This leads to a sense of interconnectedness with others, strengthening a sense of community and belonging,” she explains. “No act is too small. It may be buying someone’s coffee, carrying someone’s bag or just holding the elevator, the effect is the same.” 18 Volunteer for something Volunteering adds purpose and meaning to your life and helps develop stronger social networks and learn new skills. Research shows that altruism and connecting with others benefits our wellbeing and builds resilience. Lifeline WA runs a Community Visitors Scheme which links volunteers to lonely and isolated older people to improve their social and mental wellbeing. For more opportunities to volunteer, go to www.volunteeringwa.org.au. 19 Gen up on mental health Mental health is not the taboo subject that it was. The more you know about mental health, the easier it is to reduce stigma around mental illness, seek help if you need it and get help earlier so you can get well sooner. Head to Health, Beyond Blue and headspace, all great resources to help you brush up on your knowledge to protect the mental health of yourself and others. Lifeline WA runs workshops on suicide prevention, mental health, crisis intervention and domestic violence. 20 Prioritise your sleep Sleep is our most fundamental need, second only to breathing. But Perth performance specialist Julie Meek says it is the first thing we give up in order to get more done in our busy lives. Insufficient sleep is directly related to increased stress and lowered resilience. Sleep deprivation is detrimental to your body’s ability to use food and blood glucose and it speeds up the ageing process. “There is no single behaviour that more fundamentally influences our effectiveness in waking life. The idea that sleeping less allows us to get more done is pervasive in our culture, but it couldn’t be further from the truth,” Ms Meek says. “Research shows that 97.5 per cent of us need at least seven hours of sleep to be at our best, but recent Australian surveys show that half of us feel unrested when we wake.” 21 Learn to deal with uncertainty If 2020 showed us anything, it’s that “all we know is that we don’t know”. Demand for counsellors has soared in 2020 and is likely to continue this year. Perth performance specialist Julie Meek says many of us do not deal with the unknown and uncertainty well and we need to have strategies in place to manage this. She urged people to be proactive in seeking support, either through a professional counsellor or a mentor, who can be a friend or acquaintance. Many workplaces have an employee assistance program offering free psychological support for both work-related and personal issues.