Hard to beat act no softie

A "softness" epidemic is sweeping the nation but fear not — self-proclaimed "international ambassador of hard" Heath Franklin is the cure.

Head-butting his way into Bunbury Regional Entertainment Centre later this month, Franklin is bringing his award-winning comedy alter-ego Chopper back to the stage, in a show he promises will "pack more wallop than a swinging sock full of $2 coins".

Demanding audience members bring their own moustaches, Franklin is determined to teach even the most wimpy of specimens how to "punch life in the guts, take compromising photos of its wife and watch it cry as it hands over the keys".

Talking with Franklin, he’ll tell you of his disgust for the self-congratulating dead weight that thrives in a modern world that thinks it’s better than it is.

"It’s a condition of the modern lifestyle — everyone reckons they deserve everything, but no one is willing to go out and get it," he fumed.

"It leaves you wondering what would happen if there was some slightly apocalyptic event like a plague of zombies."

Sporting texter tattoos, a fake tash and a bold-looking set of man-sunnies on stage, Franklin admitted he could find it hard to get out of character.

"Something about it gives me a false set of confidence, you come out as Chopper and you feel like you could take on anything and win," he said.

Franklin thinks most people would be useless in a survival situation — unlike Bear Grylls.

His first national tour in three years, A Hard Bastard’s Guide to Life will give audiences a sneak peak of Franklin’s new Bear Grylls character of Man vs Wild fame.

Describing Grylls as a really hard bastard, well spoken and no fake, Franklin said Chopper looked forward to meeting Grylls but said the crazy Englishman would have to learn to carry some extra weight.

Anyone who jumps out of helicopters, eats live animals and washes it down with his own urine is all right in Franklin’s book.

"He’s well spoken and all that sort of thing but to eat a live snake you’ve got to be maladjusted or pretty hard," Franklin laughed.

A Hard Bastard’s Guide to Life will kick off at 7.30pm on October 21.